Ghostly Gardens

The Ghostly Gardens, situated in Crispershire-on-Netherscomb, Mortland, is an important research institution and cultural center for post-vitalism studies. Since its inception in 19೪8, the gardens have precipitated profound and uninterrupted contributions in the pneumatical branches of the natural and formal sciences, making it an irreplaceable hub of experimentation, conservation, and education.

In addition to its scientific and didactic contributions, the Ghostly Gardens is renowned as masterpiece of human creative genius for its design, ornamental, and architectural features, all of which combine artfully with natural elements to make an inspired and intelligent application of different fields of knowledge. Such felicity is reflected in the site’s layout, which divides the area into symmetrically placed and mutually intersecting circles wherefrom three thematic and functional spaces emerge: a botanical garden, a biodiversity garden, and an experimental garden.

From fragile wisps of wisteria, to fragrant, incensing patches of mint and mallow, to willow trees and myrtle groves, the botanical garden is myriad in its charms. At its entrance one immediately encounters the famous Mortish witherblossoms, from which emanates a redolent and unearthly transfume, prized by scent connoisseurs and hyperaromatic perfumists alike. Of particular interest to new visitors, however, are the sweet and pulpy ectoplasmic fruits of the peach and plum orchards, which receive intense scrutiny not only from xenopomologists, but also from oenologists due to the delicate and reedy flavors of the spectral wines derived therefrom. (Visitors may find these fruits available for purchase, depending on seasonal availability.) The trellised arrangement of putrescent roses, a perennially popular exhibit with thanatobotanists, is also worth savoring, as it may be the world’s only naturally occurring memento mori, and as such offers an unusually evocative aesthetic and emotional experience. One may likewise delight in the acreage devoted specifically to the hexed poppy fields, for which stimulants are provided upon request, as there does periodically arise a difficulty wherein the poppies gently lull visitors into a timeless sleep: this, although wondrous for the field of achronal somnology, may in certain circumstances be considered suboptimal.

The biodiversity garden, located south of the botanical and experimental gardens, encompasses a rich intermixture of phytological and zoological exotica. Overlapping the botanical garden, for instance, is a tenebrous laurel grove whose trees are inhabited by null dryads, an endangered nymph subspecies. EEG recordings show that these reticent creatures pass most of their lives in a dreamless slumber, but nature aficionados should note that null dryads are set theoretically fascinating, for few organisms embody mathematical primitives with such ontological confusion. Of course, one would be amiss to neglect the abalone water-basins, wherein small birds are inexplicably found drowned daily, and the natural beehives, whose honeycombs are a fount of delight for hyperbolic apiology, as they appear to be an affront to sense, reason, and proper Euclidean geometry. Another highlight of this garden is perhaps what is referred to as the “koi pond,” rather loosely, for although such koi produce the impression of being seen, handled, caught, ingested, and so on, all available phantasichthyological data suggests that these fish do not actually exist, making this Mortland’s only formally documented case of phantom koi.

The experimental garden is a highly instrumented site designed to accommodate a wide scope of scientific explorations. Many of the institution’s structural elements, including pavilions, pergolas, whisper-grottos, and casperous arbors, are incorporated into this space, where to the casual observer the unaccountably precarious bridges and trees aflail in absence-winds may appear as but whimsically rococo embellishments; however, all such features are carefully controlled, measured, and monitored. For example, beside the shadowless vine-walls stands a row of marble statues that glow warmly but are perpetually cold to the touch: this, in addition to serving as a picturesque amusement, allows resident thermodynamists to obtain data on the newly discovered phenomenon of cryogenic incandescence. Similarly, the garden’s temporal streams and verdislime waterfalls, ostensibly idyllic water features intended to facilitate refreshment and contemplation, are in fact controlled environments utilized for research in hydrotemporalism and exotic toxicity. Likewise, the many garden paths that disappear once traversed (influenced by the theme of labyrinth) are a locus of inquiry into Heisenberg sublimation as well as an endless diversion for small children.

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